Breaking the Law in Bangkok!

I’m an illegal immigrant in Thailand as of today...

Why? Because of my stupid bank, that’s why! After arriving in Laos the first thing I did was check my account online (unusually) and to my horror I was $150 short! I couldn’t work it out, the money had been there this morning! So I panicked and after considering my options and how damn expensive Laos was I decided the best thing would be just to go back to Thailand, where I can stay with friends if need be. So the afternoon after my 23 hour bus journey from Hanoi to Vientiane I was back on another bus making my way to the Thai border to catch a 12 hour train back to Bangkok. At the border I was informed just as he was stamping me into Thailand that I needed to leave by the 29^th October, “You will go before this date?” he asked me.

But my flight to Malaysia is on 31^st!

I just agree and go on my way but inside I’m losing it. What am I going to do? First I double check my flight, yes, it’s the 31^st then I count how many days there is untill the 31^st and it’s 17 days to go so why do I have to leave on the 29^th? I'd forgoten that yes, we get fewer days to visit the country if you enter by land but I’ve always received 17 days in the past but to my horror I now had only 15 days stamped in my passport! Now after a quick Google check it appears tourists now only get 15 days, just my luck that the one time I actually need the full 17 days it’s now 15!  It was also just my luck that 3 or 4 days later the money was back in my account just as it should have been. How very GRRRR! I was really looking forward to seeing Laos as well but guess it will still be there next time. I did consider going back but the lazy side of me decided against it.

I’ve read and been told that as long as I don’t get arrested (but knowing my luck…) before I get to the airport I won’t get in trouble if I pay a fine of 500 baht a day. Having looked at my options this is the cheapest and easiest way to do it as a new flight would have cost me about $50 and catching the bus and train like I did last year was one 30 hour journey I don’t wish to repeat and I'd be paying about the same as the fine. Finger’s crossed I don’t get arrested then! If my blog ends here ya'll know what happened...

I can’t say I’m sad to see the back of Thailand for a while. Lack of money has meant for the last 2 weeks I’ve been stuck in my apartment doing sod all apart from snacking on too many packs of Lays and drinking too much bubble tea. I've been to Kuala Lumpur before but Penang will be something new and that’s always exciting.

Muang Thong Thani: Why I Could Live here

If you're anywhere longer than a few days sharing a room is less than perfect and hotels can start to get expensive, so you'll really need an apartment. I'm staying in a place called Muang Thong Thani, which is about a 20 minute drive from central Bangkok and although it can get pretty boring as it's a place to live in not tourist in, I really like it and felt it deserved its own post. MTT is one of the biggest community projects attempted in the world but is often considered a failure by the people who count in real estate because it went bust during a collapse in the property market in 1992. Therefore, many of the buildings were built, never used and remain empty. It's a real shame to see some of the luxury apartment buildings here falling apart when this place has so much potential! 

Impact, the largest exhibition center in SEA

I've never seen a place have so much you need to hand, I can grab a midnight snack at 7Eleven (seen 3 so far) and anything they don't sell in 7Eleven I can probably find in Big C, Watson's or Tescos. There's a bunch of mid-range department stores, I can surf the net in internet cafes, there's cake shops, fruit stalls, ice-cream shops, bubble tea shops, coffee shops and a steak house as well as loads of cheap restaurants. I can stock up on my jewellery, DVDs, and magazines. I can get photos developed, buy a new or second-hand phone or laptop, a fake iPad, send a fax, visit the doctor and then the pharmacy. I can get my clothes fixed (and I did for about 3$) and washed, my hair and nails done, my eyes tested and grab a massage and a beer in a bar afterwards and all within a 5 minute walk! It has the biggest exhibition and convention center in South East Asia and just in my apartment block alone I have 2 shops, a laundry service and numerous washing machines and dryers if I'd rather do it myself and it's easy as most of the apartments come attached with a little box outside for drying your clothes in so you don't even need the dryers anyway. It's almost as if you could seriously never leave Muang Thong Thani and have almost everything you need to hand. Ahhhh If only it was like that back home, we don't even have an ATM there lol!

MTT is market mad to and has one every day! It's good during the day but really comes alive after dark and the food court in the middle of the market here is pretty famous, with a wide array of cheap (as little as 25 baht sometimes), healthy (they do great salads, which is a real joy after all the fried rice and noodles) and just awesome food. The portions are small though but I noticed most people get 2 or 3 meals and if you only want one, you might be lucky and get some extra added on your plate like I did :) It's quite common to see people come from outside MTT just to eat here! As well as the everyday market they have here there's also a massive weekly market, selling everything from belts to headphones but the best part is the food! There's just so much choice and so much of it is so beautifully presented, it looks like food art to me!

The cost of living here is so cheap to; you can own an apartment here for as little as $10,000 and I've got Wi-Fi, hot water and a large sitting room all for around 150 USD a month. I never feel unsafe; it's secure where I'm staying as there are security guards and cameras. If you do need to get to central Bangkok it's easy; you can take a taxi but it costs anywhere from 130-210 baht, take a mini-van 30 baht direct to Victory Monument or take a bus, which costs around 18 baht.

There is however, always a little rough with the smooth and here's a little list of my MTT peeves;

• Most people do not speak English in Muang Thong Thani and ordering food can be a nightmare as there are no non-Thai Menus or pictures to point to but learning a language never did anybody any harm and you will learn in a place like this, you have to.
• My apartment is not the cleanest.
• Getting a taxi in the evening can be near impossible after everyone finishes work.
• Access to my apartment building is by key card only but you're not given one for the first month so you're basically stuck in or out until someone turns up who does have one or one of the guards decides to actually do their job and open the door for you but so far only one seems happy to do so without bitching or looking moody. I'm sometimes stuck in or out for up to 20 minutes! I can't get my head around why you have to wait a month before you get a card; it's surely a massive fire risk?
• I'm unable to easily cook in my room, no kitchen and not allowed gas but it's nothing a couple of rice cookers or portable cooking equipment wouldn't fix but with the amount of cheap eateries around (plate of fried rice goes for about 35 baht here) there really is no reason to cook anyway.
• It’s a small community here, I am one of about 4 foreigners in the immediate area so you start to recognise people, they do you and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I quite like being anonymous. 

Cambodia: Or is that Scambodia? Either way I love it!

There aren't too many places like Cambodia around; it has this crafty way of stealing your heart and then breaking it in one swift motion and it's a little bit like Marmite; most people love it, not everybody likes it but it never fails to leave an impression. Now I love Cambodia but every time I've been here I'm some how got on the way into the country. Whether it's being put on a VIP bus when a standard one would have done fine or charged too much for a tuk-tuk to the border the scammers have gotten me :(

Battambang City

Now if you are coming from Bangkok and heading to Poipet (which is the usual route) you’ll have a number of options, you can either take;

• The train, at 58 baht it's the cheapest but slowest, busiest and least frequent option.

• Public bus, which at 200 baht is a little bit more expensive but it’s fast (4 hours) and as long as you state you want the border when purchasing your ticket you'll avoid at least some of the touts trying to scam you out of your hard earned cash. You’ll also be able to walk the rest of the way to the border rather than having to take a tuk-tuk. You can read more about getting to Cambodia and all the visa and entry scams here.

• Taxi, most comfortable way to go but it’s obviously the most expensive (expect to pay around 1500-3000 baht if you choose to go this way).

• Minibuses, often available from travel agents in places like Kao San Road. These are a scam in themselves and I would avoid them at all costs, to see why you shouldn’t take a scam minibus click here.

Don't listen to anybody offering you help; they'll stick you on a VIP bus, which isn't really worth the money. They’ll tell you there are no more buses when there are so you catch a taxi instead. You’ll be offered a free lift to the bus station but instead you’ll end up at a taxi stop. Don’t talk to anybody; you don’t need any help catching a taxi or finding the bus station. Very GRRRRR but it’s unlikely to change when nobody gives a damn, just smile and see it as Cambodian way of life.

Once you actually get to Siem Reap or wherever it is you want to go you can let your guard down a little. You’ll be overcharged from time to time but I found the biggest hassle came from children. You can't escape them, wherever there is something to see you will get children trying to sell you things. They’re polite and speak exceptional English, they'll offer you a seat if it’s available and then they'll tell you your capital city, who is running the country and even who used to. They also know how to say "now you buy lady, I know you rich". If hello is followed by lady/sir run they want something! Don’t feel too bad, maybe if more people did that whoever is giving jobs to these kids might find a different career venture. Watch your stuff, they'll crowd around you and don't buy anything. Once you've brought from one, they'll insist you buy from them all.  

$12 room in Battambang

Hotels in Cambodia are exceptional, they're clean, and you’ll pay a little and get a lot. 3-4$ can get you a fan room with a bathroom, soap, towels and a TV here. Unless you want to you never need pay more than $10-$15 for a little luxury in Cambodia. Depending on where you are and what you eat food can start from as little as 2000 riel, which is about 30p. Small bottles of water start from about 1000 riel and a can of coke 3500 riel-$1. USD is widely accepted here and in 2 months I've only had one person refuse to accept my $. 

The Khmer people are some of the friendliest around, you won't have to venture far before some kid shouts hello, smiling madly and waving as they pass. Sadly friendly doesn't always mean genuine and there are the trademark smiles of Asia but usually because they want something. I’ve had some real I wanna kill you moments here, last year I caught a bus and the guy who put my bicycle on the bus wanted a tip for doing so. God, I hate being asked for tips!  I refused and he simply walked away smiling but when I got off the bus the front wheel was hanging off... Another time I forgot the most important bag I was carrying on a bus, Everything was in there, you name it, if it was essential it was in there, money, my bank cards even my passport so as soon as I noticed I grabbed the first motodop while my backpack got left on the tuk-tuk I was going to take to my hotel but the driver said no problem, he could wait. I didn’t want to leave my bag but I really had no choice so off we sped after the bus. I get my bag back no problem and luckily everything is still inside it but of course when I get back the tuk tuk is nowhere to be seen. I’m now tearing my hair out because the guy has my bag and I had no idea if he would be back! In the end after 20 minutes and several calls from my motodop friend, the tuk-tuk guy comes back obviously having rummaged through my bag. Even though there's nothing of value in there I still need my clothes and shampoo!

(Banlung) Ratanakiri. Province

Most people come here to see Angkor Wat and while it is just as amazing as everybody says (post to come later), Cambodia is so much more than this and the killing fields. Sure, there's a lot of scams to get through but people are just trying to make a living and if you have time it's well worth riding the bamboo train, checking out the dolphins and watching the world go by in the rural provinces.

 Average daily cost: $25-$35

Pics from pointy hatvile, Vietnam

And while I work on a different post...getting snappy in Cambodia