Penang: Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's ass-saving Kevin!

I didn't get arrested I got this fine instead!

Wow! It's been a while since I posted but you may have guessed I didn't get arrested, in fact the staff at immigration were all smiles and they were happy to accept my 1000 bath no questions asked. Long live Thailand ha ha!

Anyway, I don't know if it's due to lack of planning but every time I go to Malaysia I have problems and this time was no different. it's always somewhere that's just been transit for me and I always end up stuck in KL so this time I really wanted to see a different side to Malaysia. Now for some weird reason I'd seen some photos and thought Penang was going to be this quaint and quiet riverside town place.

Boy, was I wrong...

Instead I found myself in a massive city, which was part mainland and island! I guess I'd been looking at pictures of Georgetown all this time but that's just one part of Penang! I was tired and so grumpy when I arrived as it had taken me a good hour and a half longer than I thought it would of done to get to my booked accommodation. The traffic and rain was killer, I was running a day behind schedule and I'd forgotten to let anyone know that. Now I know websites like Hostelbookers and Hostelworld claim you'll be hit with charges for not contacting your accommodation if you need to cancel or change your booking but I've never seen it. However upon my arrival I noticed a note pinned on the door with my name on it.

Please help yourself to tea or coffee I will be back in 10 minutes.

Cheap plastic shutters instead of toilet doors...really?

I knew then, it wouldn't be that simple...

Unfortunately for me the manager had lost some business and sat up till midnight waiting for me to walk through the door. I'm feeling pretty guilty but then he tells me he'll have to charge me for the extra night and now I'm feeling pretty pissy but thanks to my grovelling skills he feels sorry for me and lets me off. I'd never stayed in a home stay before, I normally avoid them as cosy houses converted into hotels/guesthouses really don't do it for me but it turned out to be pretty cool. However, just as expected there was very little privacy. Everything was provided from soap to banana bread though but not sure I would stay in one again mind.





I can honestly say there have been very few times in my life I have been so scared I just wanted to go home and hug my mum like I did while in Penang. I'd seen posts online about people stumbling across old cemeteries and graveyards and getting awesome photos. I wouldn't go out of my way to find one but if I happened to come across one I would definitely venture inside to. So after I managed to miss the Komtar building twice (how? I don't know, it's a bloody obvious bus stop!) I do indeed stumble across a fantastic looking cemetery so I ring that bell and stop the bus. Turns out this was a christian cemetery that was built in the 1700's and it was as cool as it had looked from the passing bus, creepy and like something from a scary movie. So I'm in there having so much fun, getting snappy with my camera and thinking how awesome I am for coming across this gem and then it happens...

I see that stupid doorway, I almost miss it and I wish I had done. It's the entrance to the catholic section of the cemetery and the beginning of a very stressful day for me. Everything is going well, I'm happily taking photos still and trying to be as respectful as I can by avoiding stamping on graves but it's almost impossible there's so much foliage. When suddenly I feel my arms tingling and when I look down I see what remind me  of miniature soldiers, my arms are covered in rows of mosquitoes! My skin crawls but this is too cool to just walk away so I ignore the burning on my arms and keep taking photos. However, by the time I do leave my arms are killing me and all I can think about is tigar balm!  I don't manage to find any tiger balm but the pharmacy I come across do have a cream for only 12.90. I'm annoyed but cough up the ringits, my arms are bright red and feel like they're on fire now!

Now the killer itch has subsided, I'm starting to worry about getting malaria and dengue. Having no travel
insurance and only a shoe string budget doesn't help matters, if I do get sick I am in serious trouble, big big trouble...I'll die! I try to calm down and get on with my day but really start panicking when I meet 2 local guys who are curious about my lumpy lobster coloured arm and tell me that "it's the black and white ones that make you ill" and oh the joy, those were the ones that bit me! It's going to be all ok though as one of them knows there's a clinic nearby where I can go to get medicine, it will only cost 1-2 RM and it's oh so important or else I will get sick. So off we go but we get lost several times on the way and after we do finally find it I spend the next few minutes being scared stiff by a doctor who basically says there is nothing you can do but wait and see if you'll get sick but he can prescribe cream in the meantime. URRGGG cream, I just brought cream so it's a no thanks, well you'll have to pay 35 RM regardless if you take the cream or not! Again, what a waste of money! I'm now in a foul mood and about 2 hours behind schedule so the man's attempts to touch me up as we cross a road later don't go down too well. Luckily for me the streets of Georgetown are nothing short of brilliant and there's something to see down every corner from fantastic artwork to charming old buildings. It is truly a pleasure to spend a day walking in these streets.

I get back in the evening to discover my phone is missing but I'm beginning to panic again and far too tired to look for it but I can't sleep either and spend most of the night tossing and turning and researching dengue mosquitoes. I can't find it in the morning either so I head to reception assuming the worse. Lady luck is rarely on your side in these situations but she must have been watching over me while I was in Penang as some brilliant person had handed it in! I never did get sick either but I learnt the value of travel insurance, I'll not travel long term without it again.

At the snake temple

I met Kevin through one of those random face book encounters and it just happened that he was living in Ipoh about 2 hours from Penang. Thank goodness for the randomness because without him I wouldn't of seen half of what I did while I was there. He liked to call it saving my ass and remind me of this numerous times we were together. I'd seen a night tour advertised in a magazine at the war museum that would have been IMPOSSIBLE to get to and a complete waste of time without the help of Kevin and his awesome jeep (really wish I had a photo). I couldn't have afforded the taxi fare and it could have possibly been quite dangerous to as there wasn't much in this part of town, it was closed and pitch black when we arrived and I may just have been eaten by the barking dog who greeted us at the entrance. As we were driving back Kevin asked me to check how old the magazine was...January 2011 of course.  We also went to check out the snake temple and the jewellery making tour, which would have been IMPOSSIBLE without Kevin and complete wastes of time as the snake temple is nothing more than a typical temple, it's tiny and features a few vipers doing sod all cos they're nocturnal. Believe what people say, it is that bad and do not go here if you don't have your own transport. The jewellery tour is by far the BIGGEST tourist trap I have ever come across and I'm so glad I didn't take a bus or taxi out to see this and I don't advise anyone else to do so either unless of course you want to buy jewellery. You'll be given an explanation of how they put gold into molds and then you'll be shown into a show room...wonderful. Somehow Kevin managed to get me a 8 RM tram ticket up to Penang Hill also, something that would have been IMPOSSIBLE on my own as foreigners usually pay 35 RM! but thanks to Kevin's ID and a shift change I was able to get the local price. I hate to admit it but I think Kevin's right he did save my arse, I got to see everything I wanted to and it would have been IMPOSSIBLE without him.